Love Me Harder

Mark woke up from what had to be the best nap of his life. ‘Nap’ probably wasn’t the right word for it — they’d slept at least until morning, daylight peering out from behind the closed window shutters. It gradually came back to him that he had been dreaming about their first time. There were so many parts that Mark thought he’d forgotten, but it was all there again like it just happened yesterday. Everything played out exactly the same as it happened back then, every fine detail exactly the same as the real thing.

Maybe a little too real, Mark thought. He shifted his legs and picked up on the gross feeling of mostly-dried semen slathered on his thighs. Great. Well, as long as it didn’t get all over the blankets (it probably did), then he didn’t give a shit about that right now. If he didn’t need to get out of bed, then by God he wasn’t going to. His precious boyfriend was still sleeping soundly, their bodies pressed up against one another and sharing their warmth under the covers. Mark would rather die than let this end.

Cesar’s sleeping face was so unbearably cute. Such full and pretty eyelashes. A gorgeous complexion that shone underneath the tiny rays of light that filtered in from between the shutters. Those plush and very kissable lips. And he looked so good with his hair still messy from the night before. Fucking irresistible, all of him. Mark brushed a few strands of hair out of his face, feeling himself falling in love with him all over again. Would this be what their future life is like? Waking up every morning next to him? He hoped so, because this was heaven.

Cesar stirred awake from the touch, his legs stretching and shifting under the covers. “...Mark? What are you doing?” His voice was strained and groggy. It made Mark feel bad for waking him up. He wanted to appreciate his sleeping face for just a little longer.

“Sorry. I was just admiring.” So he held and cuddled him in apology, peppering his head with lazy kisses.

Cesar smirked, never missing a chance to tease Mark. “Watching me sleep? Creep.”

“Like you have room to talk,” he grumbled, squeezing the lower half of Cesar’s face gently in his hand, rubbing his thumb over his cheek. Oh, that perfectly soft and flawless face… Mark wondered when he turned into such a sap. Cesar really ruined him, in the best way.

“I couldn’t help it, you were just so tempting.”

Mark ran a hand through that disheveled black hair. “Oh, I’m sure. So, sleep well?”

“I should be asking you that, you wild beast, you,” he uttered in a husky voice, his face leaving Mark’s grasp and pressing into his neck. Cesar kissed up and down Mark’s throat, lips popping away each time with a soft and delicate smack. His eyes fluttered shut, and his head lingered underneath Mark’s chin for so long that he thought Cesar was ready to drift off back to sleep.

Cute. But that train already came and left. “Aw, looks like you need to sleep some more. But I feel pretty good, watch this,” he started, wrapping his arms around Cesar’s body. With a dramatic roar, Mark rolled over onto his back. Cesar was pulled along with him, the smaller male’s eyes shooting open as he scrambled to base himself on something. But there was nothing, and he was left flailing with his back laying against Mark’s chest. 

Cesar erupted into a fit of giggles. He didn’t put up much of a fight, but he still tried to wrestle around with Mark anyway. “No fair Mark, I’m still tired, and really sore, and—!”

“Too bad,” he chimed, blowing raspberries into Cesar’s neck, the two howling with laughter until they could barely breathe. Mark was nice enough to let Cesar ‘win’ now and then, pretending to be overpowered by him as the two rolled back and forth on the bed. It never lasted, though; Mark always won in the end, pinning Cesar down and blowing raspberries into any tickling skin he could reach. 

This was how they used to play around, before the constant sex started. Mark was starting to miss it, and it made him happy to know that not only could they still do this, but that Cesar still loved spending quality time with him just messing around and goofing off like they did when they were kids.

The neighbors must be confused. First the moaning, now hysterical laughter.

Fuck it. They weren’t the ones naked in bed with the most gorgeous man on the planet (in Mark’s eyes at least, and he’d fight anyone on that), bodies sprawled across the bed that was also now in shambles with covers and sheets strewn everywhere, breathless and crying from laughing too hard. If anyone came to his door bitching, Mark would just gloat that his life was so much fucking better than theirs. Anyone would be jealous of what he has.

“Hey, Ces. Is this really okay? Having to live our lives in secret, I mean.” Mark knew he was probably about to seriously ruin the mood, but it was something weighing on him for some time. What they had was such a wonderful thing. Why did they have to hide it? Why did their families have to be like that?

“What do you mean?”

“Like, don’t you think it’s weird or wrong that we have to hide away like this?”

“Yeah, I guess. I would prefer that. But I also don’t think it’s going to get between us, or at least it shouldn’t. I mean, think about it, isn’t it kind of hot? A secret little tryst every other weekend? And nobody even knows. It almost feels scandalous. In an exciting way.”

Mark let out a sigh and rolled onto his side, looking into Cesar’s eyes like he was about to say something romantic, like he could even begin to hold a candle to whatever the fuck that was. “Ces? You been hanging around the theater kids again?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“No reason. Just wondering.” Mark pecked a kiss on Cesar’s cheek. “Want breakfast?”

“You’re even going to cook for me? What a gentleman.”

How could someone be so cute and yet so fucking painful at the same time? Jesus fuck. “It’s just eggs and toast, dude.”

“I’d eat anything you make, Mark.”

Mark sighed in defeat. “I know Ces, I know.” He got up and started digging through the jumbled pile of clothes on the floor, looking to at least put on his underwear and a shirt. No way in hell was he going to be making anything with his dick just hanging out. “I’ll meet you downstairs whenever, just put some pants on first. Or if you want to doze off for a bit, I’ll come get you when it’s ready.”

“We could run away together, you know.”

Mark had to do a double-take. “What?”

“You know. Run away. Elope? Just the two of us.”

Well, Mark did fantasize about living a calm, domestic rest of his life with Cesar at his side. But he was kind of hoping that life would still include his family and the town where he grew up. “I don’t know, I just… We could do that. But I don’t want to leave my sister, or my mom, or our church. I know we have a complicated relationship with that stuff now, but…”

“You don’t want to rock the boat.”

Mark shrugged. He never really thought of it that way, but when he put it like that, that’s pretty much what he was doing. He didn’t want to deal with the inevitable fallout if their parents ever found out about them. They’d lose everything — their family, their friends, and the church that, despite everything, was still very dear to them. It was where they met, after all. And Mark had a hard time believing that God didn’t support them because of that. Two boys go to the same church, become best friends and fall in love? Practically divine intervention.

“I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do, Mark.”

“We can keep the option open. Just in case. I don’t want it to come to that, but I’d go anywhere with you if we ever needed to.”

He was relieved that his answer seemed to make Cesar happy, enough that he got out of bed just to give Mark the tightest hug of his life. “I’m glad you’d go with me, but I hope you never have to choose.”

They stayed there for a while, not even caring that they were still naked. When was the last time they talked about their plans and fears for the future like this? It was scary, but it gave Mark a sense that everything would work out however it was meant to, and everything would be fine in the end. 

“What’s that on your legs, Mark?” Cesar let out a fake gasp, feigning utter shock and disbelief. “Ohh, you jerked off to me while I was asleep? You’re terrible, Mark.” 

Fuck, he forgot about that. He wasn’t going to try to decide if that was more or less embarrassing than admitting that a wet dream made him cum in his sleep. Right now, Cesar was under the impression that Mark was in control at the time, and he wanted to keep it that way. Once he was in the mood for being teased and degraded, then he’d tell Cesar the truth.

Mark passed a handful of tissues to Cesar, who was busy fretting over the tiny amounts of almost entirely dried cum that rubbed off onto his legs while they were rolling around in the bed. “Yeah, I guess I did do that. Sorry. You know how it is, hormones and all that.”

“Love you Mark. Mwah mwah.”

“Love you too, doofus.”