Love Me Harder

Chapter 23: April 24th, 1992

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Mark scowled at the lukewarm water that turned cold while he scrubbed himself clean. The creeping chill threatened to kill his boner, as was the long break that he tried to avoid between sessions, but it was for the best. Unlike Cesar, an actual lunatic and crazed sexual deviant, Mark had a refractory period. And either way, nothing would change the fact that he needed to clean up before putting his dick anywhere near Cesar’s mouth. It was bad enough that they didn’t care much for condoms to begin with, and that sometimes they would go right ahead and have anal sex completely dry if there was no lube or they were too lazy to get up and get some (generally a bad move, Mark knew, and they were lucky that nothing bad came of it yet), so the last thing he needed was to worry about getting his boyfriend sick from doing something so stupid.

He let out an audible groan when he went back to his bedroom to find Cesar picking through his magazines again.

Cesar ignored it, if he even heard it. “Please tell me you got all the soap off this time. If I get one more mouthful of soap from you, you’re so fucking dead.”

“Christ, do you mind?” Mark complained, taking the magazine away and chucking it away to join the rest behind his bed, into the bottomless pit where it belonged. “Stop making me remember things.”

“Sorry, baby. You’re just too funny. Now come to bed,” he crooned, patting the spot on the bed next to him. It was a distraction, a way to make Mark forget about his silly games, and by God it was working. How could Mark stay mad at such an offer? He sat beside him, the two boys still naked and bare, waiting for him to make his move. What was he going to do? Was he going to get on his knees on the floor for him? Lay down and hump a pillow while he sucked Mark off? Both sounded fun to watch while Cesar worked magic with his mouth, but neither would be satisfying enough on Cesar’s end to make up for the awful finish that Mark gave him earlier.

With Mark’s full attention, Cesar decided that now was the perfect time to take things slow. To leave him in suspense, to keep him guessing. It was a talent that he had, how he could choose between being direct and being patiently coy. He always knew which one would affect Mark the most, like he could read it in the air. He dotted Mark’s face with tender kisses, teasing the corners of his mouth, then a short kiss on the lips that threatened to turn into a battle of tongues but pulled away right when Mark thought it was about to take that turn. Instead those soft lips moved down his neck, to his collarbone, his chest, then back up again. Mark, unsure of what kind of touch would be best, let his hands caress each of his thighs, rubbing them up and down, stopping only to squeeze his knee. Any drive or inspiration that Mark lost while he was washing himself came back in full roaring force just from Cesar’s teeth nipping at his ears and the soft, warm breath that sent shivers down his spine. There was an overwhelming urge to take both of those knees and fold them over Cesar’s head and completely ruin him until he was screaming for more or for mercy.

But no. This was Cesar’s moment. He’d let him do whatever he wanted. He promised.

A hand pressed down on his chest, easing him down slowly until his head settled into the pillow, those soft lips returning to his own. But then they were gone. When he opened his eyes, Cesar was settling onto his side with his head between Mark’s legs, and as he realized he would be in the same position he finally got the message of what he was trying to do. Mark felt so stupid; how did he never think of this before?

“Even more intimidating up close,” he said, and Mark would have told him to shut up and knock it off if he weren’t already so turned on just from his face being directly in front of Cesar’s dick.

Warm breath tickled against his dick, that warmth becoming the wet heat of Cesar’s mouth. He sighed and pressed his face into Cesar’s groin, not taking him into his mouth yet, but pressing his nose and face into the underside of his cock and leaving wet kisses on every inch of skin he could reach. Cesar laughed around the dick in his mouth. Probably wishing his mouth wasn’t full so he could make fun of him for being a “ball-sniffer” again, Mark was sure. When he took the base in hand is when he took the shaft into his mouth, taking most of it before stopping, rolling his balls between his fingers on his other hand. Cesar moaned around Mark; Mark knew that the man loved being touched anywhere, everywhere, and in any and every way.

He wished he were half as good with his tongue as Cesar was. He could take Cesar into his mouth easily—the man wasn’t huge—but despite Cesar only being able to take in a little at a time, his tongue worked wonders on every bump and vein. The wet feeling creeped higher and higher until Cesar had all of it in, until Mark knew he had to have been in his throat, blissful jolts pulsing through every nerve. He tried to return the favor and left himself gagging. Fine by him; though Cesar tried to pull away, Mark wouldn’t have it. He could spare a hand to grab at his ass, giving Cesar no room to pull his hips back. With a desperate sob and a heavy exhale through his nose, Cesar held Mark the same way. Struggling, struggling, with all of his strength, to hold Mark’s hips still while he bobbed his head up and down.

It was a reminder that Cesar was in control. There was no doubt in either of their minds that Cesar could easily take all of Mark at this point. Letting him fuck his face would be effortless. 

Like his body, Mark’s hands couldn’t stay still, unable to decide where they wanted to be. One moment they were fondling his sack, feeling up his legs again the next. Every part of Cesar was too perfect to go ignored. Mark wished he had more hands just so he could touch him everywhere, because there wasn’t a single part of his body that didn’t deserve love and attention. Eventually he settled on gripping and squeezing his ass, kneading the cheeks apart, giving them an occasional light smack that made Cesar jump in delighted surprise. Wanting more of a reaction, one of his thumbs dipped into the crease of his ass and pushed in, making Cesar choke and forcing him to pause. The motions of his tongue became less calculated and much more sloppy as Mark started to finger him. 

Mark couldn’t take it. All those sounds Cesar was making around his dick, the sliding of his wet tongue… he tried to make some kind of warning sounds even with his mouth filled, and Cesar, maybe getting the message but not reacting the way Mark thought he would, wrapped his arms around Mark’s waist and held him in close. Whatever choice Cesar made was his, Mark didn’t care, he needed to cum right fucking now and Cesar better be ready for it. Whether he was going to swallow it or let it spill—all over the sheets? Neither of them stopped to think about that before they started—the decision better be made now.

The bitter liquid hit the back of his throat and, despite the warning, Cesar wasn’t as prepared as he thought he was, coughing and choking on it for a moment before he was able to relax and take it all in quick gulps. If Mark didn’t have an actual refractory period, that alone would have been enough to set him off again, if sucking Cesar off the rest of the way didn’t do it first. Pulling his mouth away to get at some air, he ran a hand through Mark’s hair, giggling and humming, quietly teasing him while Mark went down on him.

“That was, what, five minutes? You’re so silly.”

He could feel Cesar’s playful eyes watching his every move. Nails dug into his scalp every time Mark pushed his fingers into him, making sure to hit the spot that would make Cesar lose all control. That move earned Mark more than he bargained for. He could feel the fingers in his hair travel until they were holding a fistful of hair on the back of his head. Now Cesar took control of his movements, forcefully slamming his mouth on his cock as he bucked his hips into it. Mark felt his body heating up again from watching Cesar throw his head back in ecstasy and thrusting into his mouth with wild abandon. 

Mark loved watching Cesar take the lead. He loved watching him show his dominant side. He’d always feel a little too embarrassed, and maybe even emasculated, to say it out loud, but by the grace of God he never had to. Leave Cesar to his own devices and at some point he’ll decide that he wants a turn to stick his dick in something. And Cesar fucking his mouth while telling Mark what a good cock sucker he was… he would do this every day. It got him throbbing like nothing else, except maybe the thought of him wearing some skimpy lingerie. Or the collar.

Fuck. The collar. He needed another session of that, and soon.

Without warning, Cesar yanked Mark’s mouth off his dick, and he didn’t have a single second to question what he was doing before the sticky white fluid was strewn across his face. And judging from how Cesar was viciously jerking himself the rest of the way through his orgasm while aimed directly at his head, Mark knew it was done on purpose. Some landed in his hair.

Mark pulled his fingers out of Cesar’s ass and sat up to inspect the damage. Thankfully, to his relief there was nothing on the sheets besides some spit and slobber, despite Cesar’s end goal of making a colossal mess of his face. He’d made bigger messes of his sheets by drooling in his sleep, something Cesar always made sure to tease him for.

Mark rolled onto his back, aware that Cesar’s eyes were still on him. He was out of breath and tired. As fun as that was, it was an odd position to be in for that long. “How do you come up with this shit?” was all he could manage to say.

“I have my sources,” said Cesar, kicking back and letting himself lay down beside his boyfriend, either not realizing or not caring that his feet were right beside Mark’s face. “None that you need to know about.”

Pressing Cesar on that was a bad idea. Mark had sources of his own that he used  to get ideas, and forcing Cesar to pipe up would put the expectation on him to do the same. Absolutely not. Death was preferable to him ever finding out what he’d been up to in that library.

Cesar stretched. Mark swatted his foot away when it came too close to his face. “What now? It’s still early. No way we’re just going to pass out after that, right?”

“What’s wrong with a nap?” Cesar waved his hand dismissively. “Fine, have it your way. Food and a shower sounds nice, then whatever we can pull up on your TV. Could always pop in a movie.”

“Fuck you and your Tim Robbins, we already went through that once today.”

“Okay, first of all, rude. Second, fuck you. And third, I didn’t say anything about Jacob’s Ladder.”

Mark grabbed Cesar’s ankle when his foot, yet again, came too close to his face, and threw his leg in the other direction. “You were going to—”

He was cut off by Cesar’s foot swinging back and gently smacking him in the cheek. “And fourth, that movie is a cinematic masterpiece. You only hate it because you think I have a celeb crush on Tim Robbins and it makes you jealous.”

“You do, though.”

“Do not. He’s tall, that’s nice, but that’s all he has going for him.”

“Whatever you say, gay-boy.”

“Ball-sniffer.”

After a few more smacks in the face, Mark wrapped his hand around Cesar’s foot and held it there. “Will you stop kicking me, dickhead? Get up, we need our mouthwash and shower.”

“No foot massage?”

Mark gave up and got up first. Rule number one of living with Cesar: Don’t argue with Cesar. How easy it was to forget. Satisfied with himself, the older boy happily followed Mark to the nearby bathroom and patiently waited for him to get the mouthwash out of the cabinet. Cesar took his mouthful of it first while Mark got the shower started. It was still early even for their usual shower. They’d usually spend their entire sexual-tension-filled Friday night in their usual back-and-forth, but Mark knew he’d probably get it out of his system while they showered.

Cesar got in first, and Mark followed soon after a short swish of the mouthwash. He was still in a mood, still hard from getting his face used, and it showed no signs of going away now that he was sharing the narrow space of the shower with Cesar. The two normally could shower together without getting distracted, but as with anything else they did together, there was always the chance of getting sidetracked.

If Cesar noticed, he was pretending not to. “Wish we could go out somewhere. Like the movies. We could see some new shit for once.”

“If only. They close down at like four o’clock now, it’s too dangerous to go at night.”

“Too dangerous to go anywhere at night now.”

The looming, supposed threat of the alternates. It was easy to forget about that sometimes, now that they were accustomed to living out their lives in the light, and hiding in the safety of their houses from the dark streets at night. Curfews were in place all over the county. The concept of a “night life” was no more unless you felt like disappearing under mysterious circumstances and “coming back” as something less than human. Mark wasn’t even supposed to have a television, but that seemed excessive and ridiculous. It would only be a matter of time before something happened and the movie theaters were forced to close down. Video stores were already on their last legs.

“Well… there’s plenty to do inside,” Mark started, unable to hold himself back anymore. 

“Hm?” Cesar turned and looked down, pretending he only just now noticed the raging boner that had been tormenting Mark since not long after his first orgasm of the night. Seeing Cesar’s dominant side only made him crave more. “Ohhh, I get it. I see how it is.”

Mark felt like a puppy begging for a treat, completely and utterly helpless in the midst of the naked beauty he was sharing his shower with who, for now, was the only person in the world, the only thing that mattered. It left him frozen in place and speechless while Cesar pulled him in close and kissed him under the running water. 

“You look so hungry. Tell me what you want.”

His mouth was dry. He’d gotten so good at telling Cesar when he wanted to be the one in control, but giving that control over to him was hard, even when he wanted it.

So instead of telling him out loud, he spun around and pressed himself against the cold tile wall, looking back at him like he just entrusted him with his life. It felt like ages passed before Cesar stepped in closer, pressing their bodies together, hands caressing his waist, kissing the back of his neck.

“I love seeing you get all bashful. It’s always so cute, Mark.” He could feel the goosebumps rising up all over his body as Cesar gave his body teasing strokes with a single finger. “What’s wrong? Are you cold? Or is it because of me? God, I didn’t expect you to be raring to go again so soon, just look at you.”

Cesar reached down to dig around behind some shampoo and body wash bottles left in the corner. Behind those was where he hid a spare bottle of lube. He and Cesar got up to their usual shenanigans in the shower—and other places—more than he’d like to admit, so Mark started hiding small extra bottles wherever they might need them.

Mark was practically shaking when Cesar forced his dick into him. His legs felt like they could buckle and collapse underneath him, pressing his cheek to the wall and giving Cesar a long and loud whine while pushing his hips back toward him.

“Yeah, is that it? You like that?” Cesar asked, and Mark felt another shudder rip through his body. So many dirty things he could say back, but none of the sounds would come out as words, just desperate screams that echoed off the bathroom walls. “Fuck, you sound incredible. Keep singing for me.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he could make out the view of Cesar with his forehead pressed against the back of his neck, eyes screwed shut from putting all of his effort into screwing Mark. Hair wet, water dripping off those gorgeous black locks and that perfectly tanned skin… times like this made it hard to ignore Cesar’s raw beauty. How did he ever land such an absolute catch of a man?

And Mark may have his preferences, but fuck, in the brief moments where he was on the receiving end he couldn’t help but be jealous of Cesar for getting to feel this amazing all the time. Once the mood passed the feeling would fade, he would much rather have Cesar’s beautiful form squirming under him and begging him for more, but for the moment all he wanted was to feel what Cesar feels. He didn’t notice one of the hands leave his waist until fingers were playing with one of his nipples, an act that never really did anything for him but was more for Cesar’s enjoyment, if anything. 

His mouth was open, it was making noise, but he didn’t have control over it anymore. Hell, he wasn’t even sure what he was saying, if anything, until Cesar repeated his words back to him.

“Hm? What was that?”

“Mm-mmm?” was all Mark could manage.

“You say something? Sounded like ‘harder!’ to me.”

It took him a second to remember what happened in the last ten seconds, but yeah, he realized he did say that. It was the first thing he asked of Cesar out loud since they started, and he knew he’d never live it down. For now, though, there was no bullying, no coy teasing. Just Cesar giving him exactly what he wanted, slamming into him with loud, husky breaths, making Mark’s fingers curl against the wall. 

The knot in his stomach started to tighten, his moaning barely ringing out over the sound of Cesar smacking into his ass. Somewhere along the way Mark cried out that he was close, so close, and Cesar chuckled, bemused, and turned up the volume when he reached around and started rubbing him off. 

“Fuck…Oh, fuck… You sound so good like that, Mark. Love when you let me do this to you…” he rambled on. Mark could barely hear him. Then there were teeth nipping at his earlobe, then lips and tongue at his cheek, and Cesar, ever the romantic, pulled him into a deep kiss as the two boys moaned deeply into each other. The kiss kept on long after they finished, the rough manhandling turning to tender caressing of each other’s bodies. Mark felt like he was floating. He could only focus on the pounding of his heart and the mouth on his mouth, everything else around him falling away, feeling like he could fall down to earth himself at any moment if Cesar let go of him. His mind was hazy as Cesar brought him away from the wall and back into the warm water.

“Let’s get that filth out of your hair,” he said softly as he poured a handful of shampoo into his hand and lathered it into Mark’s hair.

This was the life, he thought, enjoying the feeling of Cesar’s strong fingers massaging into his scalp. A beautiful man who loved him and took care of him—what more could he ask for? His body felt tired, lighter than air, but he found the strength to reach down and help clean him up in the meantime. 

When all was said and done, he turned Cesar around, earning a relaxed sigh from him as Mark scrubbed the hot water and soap into his back and shoulders.

“You should invite Sarah over tomorrow night.”

Mark blinked himself out of his blissful post-orgasm haze when he realized Cesar was talking to him. “What for?”

“Movie night? And she can stay the night, so nobody has to break curfew.”

“You realize that we’ll have to go without our usual, right? You’re okay with that?” Mark himself was fine with that, but it was weird to think that Cesar would give up their fun-filled Saturday night. “Well, okay. I’ll call her up when we’re done. But you need to behave, no being weird around my sister.”

“Of course, of course.”

Yeah, Mark knew better than to believe him. But he shrugged and let it go. What were the chances that Sarah would actually want to hang out with both of them here?

The thought of Sarah possibly needing to use this same shower that they just fucked in, and regularly fucked in, made his skin crawl. He’d make sure to scrub every surface before she showed up, if she showed up, until not a single speck of dirt or grime was left behind.

When they were finished, the two doted on each other as they helped dry each other off, with only a few shared innuendos about being wet. Mark had to shut that discussion down quickly. They showered, he didn’t feel like showering a second time and wasting water and soap, they were dressed in fresh clothes, they were finished for the night. What they would do next Mark had no idea, he just hoped it wasn’t that goddamn Tim Robbins movie again.

Thankfully, food was the next thing on Cesar’s mind, and he offered to take care of everything and do the cooking and cleaning for the day. Mark usually hated it, Cesar was the esteemed guest here, but he reminded himself that arguing with him was a lost cause. He left Cesar to do what he wanted and picked up the wall-mounted phone in the kitchen and started dialing home.

“I don’t think she’ll even agree to this,” Mark muttered, but Cesar only gave a knowing hum in response underneath the clanging of pots and pans being shuffled around in the cabinets.