Chapter 14: March 14th, 1992
Mark grabbed Cesar by the arm and dragged him away from the door. “Cesar, what the fuck? Really? ”
It was plain to see just by looking at him that Cesar was physically and mentally wiped out, but he still wore a look of smug pride at his little practical joke. “Just being silly.”
What did he mean by ‘being silly’? Now? Right after being scared out of his wits that Sarah was going to out them to everybody they knew? Right after the big blowout they just had? He loved this man, but God, sometimes he just didn’t understand him. “Quit picking on my sister. Weren’t you upset about this, like… not even ten minutes ago? Everything was going to shit, and now you’re joking about it?”
Cesar sighed and started walking past Mark, back toward the stairs to the bedroom. The tiny sliver of joy he may have gotten from messing around was gone now, and Mark felt like an even bigger asshole than he already did for getting on his case over a joke. But what is he supposed to say to Sarah the next time he sees her? She probably thinks they went right back to fucking as soon as she closed the door. Sure, she may have promised to keep a secret, but Mark wasn’t keen on his sister having any kind of insight as to what was going on in his sex life.
Still, he couldn’t just leave Cesar feeling like that.
“Ces, wait.”
Cesar stopped just as he set his foot on the first step of the stairs. The two looked at each other in an awkward few seconds of silence.
“Look, I’m sorry. Some of the shit I said was nasty.”
The older male turned his body to face him, leaning his back against the corner of the wall. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You were just trying to protect us both. I was making that harder for you.”
“That doesn’t make it okay that I called you a prick.”
He gave Mark a tired smile. “Really? You’re worried about stupid little shit like that?” His voice was calm and reassuring. Gentle. It made Mark feel so guilty; Cesar shouldn’t be comforting him, it should be the other way around. “Baby, I’ve been called so much worse. You may as well have just called me a butthead or a meanie, it would have made the same impact.”
“That’s not the point,” Mark said, wishing Cesar would just… shut up and be mad at him. The last thing he wanted to hear was that he was used to being treated like shit. “And the way I grabbed you like that out of nowhere, and—”
“And,” Cesar interrupted, rushing forward to grab Mark’s hands in his own, “It wasn’t anything that I wouldn’t have normally been okay with. You weren’t trying to hurt me, were you? No, because I know you don’t have it in you to do something like that.”
“You don’t think so?”
Suddenly he pressed himself in close, nuzzling his face into Mark’s neck. Cesar wouldn’t let go of his hands until Mark felt better, just as he’d always do when Mark’s anxiety was spiraling out of control. It would normally make him feel so vulnerable to know that someone could tell when he was struggling. Cesar knowing, on the other hand, was a comfort.
It was just so frustrating that he was the one being consoled in this situation.
“You worry me with how much you worry. What you did was nothing. You didn’t hurt me, and you weren’t going to.”
“How do you know?”
“You’re thinking too hard about this. You were just stressed out. And still are. Stop driving yourself crazy over this. I’ve never been afraid of you. Don’t try to frame this as some kind of red flag or some shit like that.”
Mark breathed in the scent of the conditioner in Cesar’s hair. Maybe he was overthinking it like he usually does. Maybe it wasn’t nearly as bad as his mind was trying to make it out to be. And Cesar was, after all, his anchor during his breakdowns.
But that was why it wasn’t okay. Cesar had problems of his own sometimes. He couldn’t be the voice of reason for Mark all the time, so acting like an asshole when he needed him wasn’t right.
“I need to make it up to you somehow, Ces.”
“There’s nothing to make up for. Really. I’m not trying to be avoidant here, I mean it.”
Another deep breath. That conditioner sure smelled nice…
“But I still upset you, and you’re trying to comfort me about it. That’s not fair.”
“Mark.”
Mark forced his hands free from Cesar’s, so he could wrap his arms around his waist instead. “Please. Anything. Anything you want, I’ll do.”
Cesar sighed again. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”
The way he said it, he was being playful and sarcastic again. The way he could crack lighthearted jokes at the worst times almost made Mark jealous. If only he could cope with stress like that. “Fine. Would it make you feel better?”
“Only if it makes you feel better.”
“Okay, okay, jeez. Come on,” grumbled Cesar, and he dragged Mark by the arm over to the sofa. He sat down but held Mark’s waist steady to signal him to stand still in front of him. Part of him was already regretting his decision, just now realizing that Cesar could get back at him by making him do something super embarrassing if he wanted to. He was the type of guy who was petty enough to do something like that. But he’d feel guilty if he backed out now, so he didn’t feel as though he had a choice.
That thought evaporated immediately when Cesar pulled his boxers down to his knees to free his half-hard dick. “On your knees, if you don’t mind.”
Mark went wide-eyed. “Cesar, no, we can’t!”
“Why not?”
Mark looked away. Mostly to make sure the shutters were closed. This wasn’t what he was expecting, but he should have known he might do something like this. But now? Of all times?
He didn’t usually feel so bashful around Cesar, but this was just weird. He really couldn’t figure out what was going on in his head sometimes. “I mean, I guess we could? But why would you want to? Right now, I mean.”
“We never finished our business earlier, and I really need to get off. C’mon, you’ve left me waiting ever since we got interrupted.”
Well, Mark wasn’t opposed.
Carefully, he dropped to his knees. The carpet was soft and comfortable. Cesar could have just commanded him to drop right where they were standing, on the hard and cold wood floor. To think that Cesar was still thinking about his comfort… or maybe he just wanted to be sitting for this.
That didn’t matter. Because now that he was between Cesar’s thighs with the man’s dick so close to his face, he didn’t care about the why or the how. The fight from earlier left him completely drained, but he was still eager to give Cesar his best. With one hand wrapped around his base and the other ghosting light touches over his thigh, he leaned in to get started.
Before his lips reached Cesar’s cock, Mark felt hands holding his head still, stopping him from coming any closer. He shot a glance up at Cesar, who was suddenly looking less sure of himself. “Hey, just to make sure… Do you want to do this? I’m not going to pressure you to.”
“Oh, um, yeah, I kind of want to. But is it going to be enough to make it up to you? We do this all the time.”
Cesar playfully tapped him on the nose. “We’ll see how you do, baby.”
Mark jokingly rolled his eyes and, with a shy smile, scooted in closer to the edge of the sofa where Cesar was sitting. Just being in front of him like this, submissive and on his knees for him… Mark was stiffening up to full mast again under his boxers. He felt like he didn’t deserve the heaven that was Cesar’s body. But if this was what he wanted, and if he thought Mark was worthy and deserving of it, then that would have to be good enough for him.
He cupped his fingers around the shaft and licked a long stripe up the exposed underside, from the base to the tip, all while looking up at Cesar with half-lidded eyes. Cesar’s body tensed at the first lick, then the second and the third, until he leaned back with a groan of relief when Mark’s tongue gave extra attention to the tip and poked into the slit.
Mark started to take the shaft into his mouth, only to stop halfway. He took his sweet time, going so tantalizingly slow that it had Cesar panting and muttering quiet pleas under his breath. It was cute how hard he was trying to keep his hips still. So cute how he wanted to just grab Mark’s head and fuck his face until he was satisfied.
Mark hoped he would. What would it take to convince him without using his words?
He knew a few tricks that he picked up from watching Cesar and he was aching to try them out. If they felt even half as good to him as they did to mark, it would be so easy to have him craving more.
He put on his best bedroom eyes and looked up to let their gazes meet, keeping sensual eye contact while he bobbed his head up and down on Cesar’s cock. He made a wet mess of half of the shaft with his mouth, and let his hand rub the bottom half in gentle twisting motions on each upstroke. Mark made as much noise as he could with his mouth; exaggerated slurping and sucking, playing it up like he was having the time of his life. It would be a lie to say he wasn’t, not when he felt his own dick twitch at Cesar’s blissed-out face and the hand that weakly settled on top of his head.
Not enough. He needed both hands there. He needed Cesar to get rough with him.
If he knew anything about Cesar, it was how much he loved being touched. It didn’t matter where or how, he just wanted to be touched. If there was even a chance that something would feel good, then he’d love it. Admittedly, having his balls touched didn’t do a lot for Mark, and it made him overlook it as an option. But perhaps for Cesar…? His free hand cupped them both, fondling and playing with them while never easing up on his cock.
Turned out, he was sensitive there too.
Having so many things happening at once was making Cesar lose control. His hips twitched violently upward, still trying to suppress the urge to slam himself against Mark’s face. He gave a short, sudden moan, then chuckled and held Mark’s cheek in his hand. “Hey, are you trying to kill me? You’re doing even better than the last time.”
Aw, flattering. But if pleasing his boyfriend was what he needed to do to make them both feel better about their sorry selves, he wasn’t going to stop there. Mark unwrapped his hand from Cesar’s cock and, without warning, crammed the rest into his mouth and down his throat, making him gag and Cesar sputter in shock. Both hands grabbed Mark’s head to hold him steady.
“Mark, holy fuck, slow down! You don’t need to hurt yourself!”
But what if I want to choke on it?
Mark wanted to say that out loud, but that was a little hard with his mouth full.
As much as he struggled with it, he was determined. Through his gagging, he rubbed his tongue along the underside of the shaft, feeling those hands on his head start to relax. Then tense and tighten when he started to bob his head again, in spite of Cesar trying to hold him in place. Mark was so conflicted; he still didn’t think he deserved to feel aroused from this, but every involuntary tug of his hair between Cesar’s twitching fingers had him making panicked whines and silently begging for him to pull harder, waiting for him to just grab a fistful of it and fucking pull.
“What’s with those funny noises you’re making down there?” Cesar sneered, finally answering Mark’s prayers and giving him a sharp tug that made him moan like a whore around his cock, high and needy. The vibrations sent shudders through the older boy’s body, making him growl and tighten his grip. “Is that what you wanted? You like that?”
Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. Mark wanted to touch himself so badly, he couldn’t fucking stand it.
Fingers tangled in the hair on the back of his head. Then he was pulled viciously upward until he had only the tip in his mouth, then forced back down again until it was back in his throat. Slow at first, then faster and faster, until Cesar was groaning and couldn’t help but start thrusting up into Mark’s mouth.
Mark swore he died and went to heaven.
So did Cesar, by the looks of it. It was hard for Mark to look up in his current position, but he was leaning all the way back on the sofa again with his eyes scrunched shut while he jackhammered himself down Mark’s throat. The noises he was making were almost as loud as his stupid prank moans from before.
But it wasn’t enough. He could be doing so much more. Totally not to get himself off, though. Not at all. Definitely not because he was thinking about what it would be like for Cesar to rail his hole the way he was doing to his mouth.
Mark tapped on Cesar’s legs like he was in a panic. Cesar stopped abruptly, hastily pulling Mark off of his dick. Every bit of confidence he had earlier was gone; he could only hold Mark’s cheeks in his hands, inspecting him up and down like he feared he broke him.
“Oh my God, are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“Fuck me.”
