Chapter 12: March 14th, 1992
“Shit. This is fucking bad. I’m such a goddamn idiot,” Mark was mumbling to himself. His mind was going a mile a minute, leaving him in such a panic that it was making him sweat. How the fuck could he let this happen? Sarah walking in on them was only marginally better than their mom finding out herself, and if she tells her then it doesn’t even matter. It’ll be all over. Having to run away with Cesar might be in the cards for him soon.
He pulled on his boxers one leg at a time, tripping over them while he looked for his shirt. “What was I fucking thinking? ‘Come over whenever, you don’t have to call’, god, I’m a dumbass. I should have at least told her to call first.” All of this really could have been avoided, if he thought about it first. Just because he wasn’t dating Cesar at the time didn’t mean he couldn’t have thought ahead. He already knew he liked him, and wanted to be with him, so his horny teenage brain should have secured his complete privacy just in case he ever got his crush in his bed.
Regretting it now wasn’t going to fix it.
Cesar was still in Mark’s bed, laying down facing away from him, his arms crossed above the blankets while the rest of his body was covered.
While Mark couldn’t control what Sarah did, he wasn’t about to argue with Cesar or make excuses. If he didn’t fix this, they were screwed. Cesar may have done all that talk about running away together to a new life, but he was just as attached to his family and the church as Mark was. Skipping town was a last resort, not their end goal.
They wanted to live their lives like this for just a little while longer, even though they knew it couldn’t last forever.
“Are you mad at me, Ces?”
No response. Definitely mad. The only time Cesar shuts up is when he’s pissed off. Mark crouched down by the bed and set his hands on Cesar’s shoulders, rubbing up and down his arms to try to soothe him. He didn’t pull away, just laid there motionless, and Mark couldn’t tell if that was better or worse. Surely he had to be worried about his own mother finding out… He still lived with her, and they only had each other. He couldn’t possibly want to leave her behind, even if she ended up hating him.
“I’m sorry, Cesar. I’m so sorry. I’ll figure this out, I promise.”
Cesar turned his body toward Mark just enough to face him. He was definitely mad, but Mark could see just how worried and upset he was, more than anything. “Do you think she’s going to rat us out?”
Mark had to think about that. Would she? Sarah was just as Christian as the rest of the family, but she was also having her rebellious streak. There was no telling what she would do. “I really don’t know.”
“So what now?”
Mark stood up so he could put his shirt on. “I have to talk to her while I have the chance. Maybe she’ll be willing to keep a secret.” Pulling his shirt on ruffled his already messy hair. Not that it mattered right now. As long as he was decent, and left nothing on display. The poor girl’s seen enough already.
He picked up Cesar’s clothes, just his boxers and undershirt, and dropped them on his face to get his attention. “At least put some clothes on. You can be pissy with me all you want later.”
Cesar grumbled in annoyance, sitting up in a huff and ripping the clothing away from his face. This was going to be a long day… Getting under his skin was almost impossible, but once the fuse was lit he’d be irritable for hours.
“Really Ces, I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you later.”
