Sarah knew tonight was when she had to make her move.
Their parents were leaving for the night, for some kind of special occasion she didn’t give enough of a shit to pay attention to. The important part was that she and Mark weren’t going and they would be out for hours, giving her plenty of time to do what she had to do.
Sarah waited until the front door slammed shut and she could hear the family car pull out of the driveway before she made her way to Mark’s bedroom door. Like always, he shut himself away in his room, but the door was left unlocked. She knocked to warn him that she was coming in and pushed the door open slowly, like opening an untamed animal’s cage. Mark did tend to get a little pissy when someone came in without at least warning him, and she couldn’t afford to catch him in a bad mood now.
He was laying in bed with his headphones on and reading a magazine. Immediately he pulled them down to hang around his neck and tossed the magazine and his walkman to the side. He wasn’t being huffy about it, at least. Sarah didn’t usually bug him. She knew how much he preferred to spend his time by himself and hated being interrupted when he was busy doing nothing.
“What’s up, Sarah?”
Now that she was here and had his attention, she realized that she hadn’t put any thought into how to approach what she was about to ask him. “Mom and dad went out. Can I ask you something?”
“Something you didn’t want them to overhear?”
The worry must have been clear on her face, because Mark motioned for her to come sit next to him. Secretly her heart was fluttering with joy at the offer, but she had to maintain her composure or else he might get suspicious. “What do you know about… kissing?”
“Kissing? Why would you ask me about that?”
“Well, it’s just… There’s a boy I want to kiss, I guess,” she started, leaving out the fact that Mark was the boy in question and that this was all an elaborate ruse. “But I’ve never… you know?”
Mark raised an eyebrow. “Do you really need to get into that at your age? And why are you asking me of all people?”
“Who am I supposed to ask? Not mom and dad, that’s for sure. And I know you’d never rat me out to them—”
“Not unless you did something stupid or dangerous,” he interrupted.
Sarah huffed. “You’re also older than me, so wouldn’t you know more about it than me?”
“Do I look like I’ve been kissing girls in my free time?”
She grinned like a fox. “Girls? No way. But someone else, maybe?”
Mark’s face turned red. “T-The fuck are you talking about? I’m not into guys.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, scooting closer. “I can tell there’s one boy you really, really like.”
At this point, Mark’s face was redder than a tomato, and Sarah knew she had him caught. He tried to turn his face away to hide it, but it was too late. “You don’t know shit.”
“I see the way you look Cesar in the hallway during passing period. It’s so obvious that you’re going fucking gaga over him. You’re having sexy makeout seshes with him in the bathroom every day, aren’t you?”
It took a lot to hide the fact that she was secretly jealous of how Cesar had all of her brother’s attention, but she was having so much fun teasing Mark about it. How could she not? He was so cute when he was all frazzled.
“Okay, fine,” he confessed, throwing his hands up in the air. “I’ll admit that I kinda like him. But I don’t think it’s mutual. So no, I haven’t kissed him.”
This could actually work out better for her, she realized. Maybe it was better than he was just as clueless. “Do you worry about doing it right if you ever get to kiss him?”
“I never really thought about it,” he said bluntly. How could he not, though? Sarah was thinking about doing that with Mark all the time, every day. How did he not have fantasies of kissing someone he has a crush on?
“Are you thinking about it now?”
“...Well, yeah, I guess.”
Sarah scooted closer. This was her chance! Even if he was thinking about someone else, it didn’t matter. Besides, what chance did he have with Cesar Torres? That boy was completely out of Mark’s league. There wasn’t even a snowball’s chance in hell that the two would ever hook up. “What if we, you know… practiced? Together?”
Mark physically recoiled away from Sarah. “What the fuck are you saying? There’s no way we can do that! I think I’d rather share my first kiss with the guy I like and not with my sister, thanks.”
Not an unexpected response. But she had to keep trying. What if she never got another chance like this?
“It doesn’t have to mean anything, you know! Just a… practice run. Nobody else has to know about it, and we can both forget about it later when we’re both swapping spit with the men of our dreams. Right?”
There was a long moment of silence between them, but Mark looked like he was starting to give the idea some thought.
“Just this once. And then we never mention it ever again.”
Sarah nodded. She may have agreed to it, but she knew that she could totally charm her brother and have him coming back for more later. Why wouldn’t he? There was no way her shy, grouchy, reclusive, and so-very-average brother could ever score anyone else, and she was pretty enough that she was all he would ever need. And who knew him better than his own sister? She moved even closer to him until their thighs were almost touching, both of them sitting at the edge of the bed. They both leaned in, their faces coming closer… until Mark pulled away at the last second.
“Man, I don’t know if I can do this, Sarah.”
“So you’re just going to disappoint Cesar with your shitty lack of kissing skills? What if he’s so unimpressed that he stops being interested in you?”
Mark was visibly taken aback by that remark, but Sarah couldn’t help herself. She was getting impatient. So very close to getting what she wanted, and she couldn’t stand the thought of this chance slipping through her fingers. But the notion of Cesar rejecting him obviously left an impression.
“Just close your eyes and pretend you’re kissing him.”
He moved back in to try again. Their lips touched softly at first, just barely brushing against each other. Clearly, he was still having second thoughts about doing this with her, but Sarah pressed her lips into his anyway. His lips were rough and dry, but she didn’t care; they were his. This was everything she ever wanted. Both of their movements were shaky and uncertain. She’d just have to make the best of it.
Mark must have taken the whole “pretend you’re kissing Cesar” suggestion a little too seriously, because it didn’t take long to feel his fingers grip hard around her biceps while he pressed himself tighter against her mouth. An awkward first attempt, but hey, this was a judgment-free zone. Sarah delighted in sharing this moment with her brother before anyone else could. As if anyone else would.
Yes, pretend I’m the man you’re never going to have, she silently begged, hoping Mark would kiss her with the same passion that he would with Cesar.
It wouldn’t take long for Mark to get so heated that she would get her wish. His tongue started to force its way between her lips, starting with a swipe across her bottom lip before pulling away for just a moment to exhale and sigh out Cesar’s name before going back in.
Good thing both of their eyes were closed. It would be game over if Mark saw how her eyes rolled back into her head when their tongues met and fought to get past the other’s teeth. Mark moaned into her mouth, and it almost made Sarah do the same. But she couldn’t, she had to restrain herself in fear of ruining the immersion of Mark’s fantasy. She let him do as he pleased, letting the kiss turn vicious and messy as he experimented with feeling around her mouth with his tongue.
All composure was almost lost when she felt a hand travel down to her leg, squeezing just above her knee. Having those hands that were so much bigger than hers touch her there drove her crazy… oh, how she wished she could grab his hand and make it touch her in other places. But that would risk ending the fun prematurely, and the last thing she wanted was to scare him away.
She wanted to take this even further, but she was just as inexperienced as her brother. That was okay; they’d learn together. While he was trying to explore her mouth, she rubbed her tongue against his, making him freeze in place and let her take control. Only for a moment, though; he quickly took on the dominant role and repeated the motion back to her, his hot breath heavy against her face. Sarah could swear she died and went to heaven… even if she’d never be seeing the real thing after this.
Mark eventually decided he’d had enough and ripped himself away from her, leaving a string of spit between their mouths as they separated. With a look of embarrassment, he broke the trail and wiped it away. “Oh, um. Shit. I think that got a little out of hand.”
With the way Mark was staring at her, she could only imagine how delirious and doped-up she must have looked after snogging with him for several minutes without coming up for a breath. “It’s fine. Uh, so, think you got the hang of it? Think you can impress your man?”
“Probably. You?”
“Definitely. When you confess your love to him, don’t forget to give me all the deets. If you have the balls to tell him.”
It was hard to stay genuine when she knew he’d never be able to work up the courage to tell Cesar how he feels. Even if he did, there was no way they were getting together. A stallion like that could land anyone he wanted. Mark was all hers.
Mark went back to his normal reclusive self after their kiss. Sarah spent the new few days at school daydreaming about the life she and Mark could have together, all while wondering if Mark was thinking about her in the same way. Everything seemed to go back to normal like the kiss never even happened, but it wasn’t weird for him to mask his emotions and bottle them up. There was no way he wasn’t thinking about what they did, he had to be itching for a second round. The thought of those strong hands exploring her body next kept her mind occupied, and she couldn’t focus on a damn thing in any of her classes.
By the time the final class period was over and she was ready to leave, she realized she hadn’t absorbed a single piece of information all day. Her notes were absolute shit, left in ruins from being too busy thinking about being fondled by her dear brother to write anything down. No hope of learning the stuff at home, as if she’d be able to focus while in the same house as the object of her obsession. Or she could take the chance to convince Mark to spend more time with her by asking him to help her with homework…
Problems for later. Right now she needed to find Mark and walk home with him, spend more time with him at every chance, and make him hers.
They always took a shortcut towards the back of the school that nobody else used, and she knew she’d find him there.
When Sarah turned the corner on the way to the shortcut, she ducked away to hide behind the corner before she nearly ran face-first into her brother locked in a loud and messy kiss with Cesar goddamn Torres. Tangled in each other’s arms, sucking on each other’s tongues in a wild frenzy. Her face lit up, both from embarrassment and raging jealousy when one of Cesar’s hands dropped to Mark’s crotch to cop a feel through his jeans. Silently she begged for Mark to call it quits there, begged for him to get cold feet and chicken out. Instead, he only grunted and bucked his hips slightly into Cesar’s open palm without ever breaking contact with the boy’s mouth.
What was she supposed to do now? All she could think of was to wait in hiding until they were done. It was bad enough to know that she couldn’t compete with Cesar to begin with. And if she interrupted them, Mark would totally hate her for the rest of her life for sure. Then there would really be no chance of her ever taking him back from this cologne-drenched sleaze who had the audacity to steal her man. Who the fuck does he think he is?
Sarah could be as angry as he wanted, but deep down she already knew the game was over.
Now all she could do was wait for them to finish and leave so she could walk home on her own.